


I Choose To

by Aj4668



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty is smart and sassy, F/M, Free Will, I struggle with but love soulmate tropes, OMGCP 14 Days of Love, So inspired by DizzyRedhead, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9588002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aj4668/pseuds/Aj4668
Summary: "I can’t believe relationships are just fated, and then everything just magically works," Lardo says.“I think fate shows you someone special you could really love, and the rest is up to you," Bitty replies.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9336314) by [DizzyRedhead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyRedhead/pseuds/DizzyRedhead). 



> Beta'd by my awesome friend [fearlessly](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fearlessly), and the wonderful [McBangle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/McBangle). McBangle beta'd as part of [Fandom Trumps Hate](http://fandomtrumpshate.tumblr.com/). As always, any mistakes are my own.  
>   
> This was totally inspired by DizzyRedhead's ['You'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9336314). Seriously, check it out. It's brilliant.  
> 14 Days of Love - Soulmates

  
  
  
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Lardo sees red. Literally. And pink. It’s in the shape of hearts. Hearts are in store windows, all over campus, and even in the Haus. She doesn’t mind it so much, but… Oh, who is she kidding? It’s tacky and garish, and not at all aesthetically pleasing. 

It’s not that she’s bitter because she’s currently single. Really. She is happy for her friends who’ve found love, and so many of them have; Ransom and Holster, Nursey and Dex, and she’s letting Jack and Bitty think they are still fooling her with their ‘just friends’ thing. They’ve all found their ‘soulmates’, and are happy about it, clinging to the notion that there is one person they are fated to spend their lives with.

She has a soulmate, too. Shitty’s name appeared on her wrist the moment they met, written in deep, rich purple, swirly lettering. It tingled and everything, just like she’d heard it would. When her name, ‘Larissa’, appeared in the same deep, rich purple on his wrist, Shitty was overjoyed. He threw his arms around her, proclaiming that he had been waiting for her his entire life. She had stiffened, pulled away, and explained that she didn’t believe in fated lovers-for-life. Shitty recovered nicely, said he’d never force a woman do to anything against her will, and said they could be ‘brahs for life’ instead.

 

It isn’t that Lardo doesn’t believe in love. She does. She hopes to find it someday. She just doesn’t believe fate or destiny or whatever has anything to do with it. 

Her parents were fated soulmates. They met and married young, had her a few years later, and fought for most of the six years they had remained married after her birth. After their divorce, they fought over custody, child support, visitation, and anything and everything every time they had to talk to each other. Lardo’s therapist had told her that her parents were perfect examples of how fated people could have problems and could choose not to work through them, but Lardo didn’t care so much. She knows relationships take work, but her parents shouldn’t have been together, ever.

If fate could get that match so wrong, and so many others, then fate can kiss her ass. She’ll one day meet someone who she’ll fall in love with. She’ll just enjoy being best friends with Shitty for the rest of her life.

 

And she does love Shitty. He’s her best friend. They get each other in ways so many others don’t get them. She enjoys – yes, enjoys – his rantings about heteronormativity, toxic masculinity. She loves that he wears Wonder Woman underwear. They have long discussions about politics, art and life while sitting out on the roof, sometimes high, sometimes not. They curl up in his bed at night, and he shares his feelings about his family, his fears about law school, and his worries about Jack. She opens up about her parents still using her as a pawn in their battles, her art (which he poses for or helps with enthusiastically every time she asks), and her fears about being a starving artist while remaining true to her craft in the future.

 

As she walks into the Haus on Valentine’s Day, she sees Jack and Bitty in the kitchen, kissing. They’ve obviously heard her, because they jump apart and stare, with red faces and wide eyes.

“Just friends. I saw nothing. I never see anything, right?” She smiles, grabs a water from the fridge, and a cookie from plate on the counter, then pauses. Since they are both still staring at her with shocked eyes, she pulls them both into a hug, and whispers, “I’m so happy for you both, and your secret is safe with me.” She feels their shoulders sag with relief.

She pulls away, and as she turns to walk out of the kitchen, adds, “Just a piece of advice? Maybe no kissing in the kitchen? Anyone can walk in.” She laughs to herself, and goes upstairs to find Shitty. He’s not in his room, as she thought he’d be. She heads back downstairs, and asks Jack and Bitty if they’ve seen him.

“He went on a date,” Jack says, with his eyes down.

“A date?” 

“Yes, he didn’t tell you?” Bitty asks, frowning.

“No, I didn’t know he was dating anyone.” She isn’t jealous. They are friends. She is only feeling… weird because they are best friends and he didn’t tell her. Yes, that’s what it is.

“I don’t know if they are dating, but he’s been on a couple of dates with a girl from one of his Women’s Studies classes,” Bitty explains. “They just went to Annie’s for coffee.”

“It’s not really a Valentine’s date, I don’t think,” Jack adds. “It’s just a date on Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, I mean, she isn’t you. He’s not in love with her or anything. Oh!” Bitty jumps when Jack elbows him gently.

“Wait, what?” Lardo asks. “He’s not in love with me. We’re…”

“Just friends?” Jack asks with a smirk. 

The irony is not lost on her. “Shut up,” she says with a laugh. “We are just friends. I don’t believe in fated soulmates. I believe in free will. My parents were fated, and if ever there were two people who don’t belong together, it’s them. I can’t believe relationships are just fated, and then everything just magically works.” She rolls her eyes.

Bitty moves to hug her. “I’m so sorry about that, sweetie. I really am. But even fated relationships need those in it to commit to it, to putting love and energy into making it work. My MooMaw and Papaw were fated, and they had to work hard to stay together all those years. They faced all kinds of hardships, like losing a baby, poverty, raising kids. MooMaw says there was little magic most days,” he says with a laugh. “I think fate shows you someone special you could really love, and the rest is up to you.”

Jack looks at Bitty with such heart eyes that Lardo almost wants to leave the kitchen, but she’s also really touched. What Bitty has said is along the lines of what her therapist has told her, but Bitty’s talking about his grandmother, who was married to her soulmate until his passing. They’re real people who chose to make it work, not just magical theories about fate.

But… “So if Shitty’s in love with me, why is he on a date with someone else?”

“Well, he’s respecting your choices. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be with you, so he’s trying to move on. Some people do find love with non-fated people, too. We, uh, kinda convinced him that was healthy,” Jack admits, running his hand through his hair and looking sheepish.

Lardo has to take a seat at that news. “He’s moving on?” She feels like crying.

Bitty sits down opposite her, and takes her hands. “He’s trying to, and so far, hasn’t. Sweetie, it seems this is bothering you more than you thought it might?”

“Yeah. I guess I never thought about it. I’m an idiot. I just took for granted that it would be just us, but just as friends. Not very realistic, huh?”

“I think you need to talk to him,” Jack says quietly. “But I think you should figure out your feelings first. Don’t offer him anything more than what you are feeling.”

“I promise, I won’t.”

 

So she thinks. While she thinks, she tries to avoid Shitty, but it’s the middle of the season, so she can’t avoid him totally, but outside of her job requirements, she doesn’t talk to him or seek him out. She misses him fiercely, but she knows she owes it to him, and herself, to figure this out.

 

About a week after Bitty dropped his bombshell in the kitchen on Valentine’s Day, the team is on a roadie. First they play Dartmouth, and the following night, they play Princeton, so they are staying the night in Hanover, NH. After their blowout victory against Dartmouth, Lardo is at the bus, waiting for everyone to finish showering and changing so they can get to the hotel.

Jack and Bitty are already outside, along with Ransom and Holster, and a few of the tadpoles. As she stands and talks with Jack and Bitty, a young, pretty blonde approaches with three others; all perky, peppy types, though they look remarkably different from each other.

“Um hi? You’re with Samwell Hockey, right?” The blonde giggles and blushes as she asks.

Bitty rolls his eyes. “Oh no, what gave it away?” he asks, as his gaze takes in Jack’s ‘Samwell Hockey’ jacket, all the duffel bags that say, ‘Samwell Hockey’ proudly on the side, and Lardo’s team sweatshirt, jacket and hat.

Blondie just giggles more as she looks to her friends for encouragement. One who appears to be of Indian descent nods and literally claps. “You’ve got this. Just ask.”

“Right,” Blondie says. “Anyway, I was wondering about the really hot guy with the mustache?”

“What were you wondering?” Lardo asks tersely. She is sure she sounds bitchy and defensive. She is also sure she doesn’t care.

“Um, is he fated already? If he isn’t, my friends and I would like to invite him to a party tonight. I just have this _feeeeeling_ that we may be fated.”

Lardo knows she can’t answer this for Shitty, though every single fiber of her being wants to tell this foolish girl that yes, he’s fated. But she can’t. She believes in free will. She has to let Shitty make this decision, even if her heart will break. 

Oh. Yeah, she’s fucked. If Shitty going off to a party with some girls to do Lord knows what causes her heart to break, Lardo knows she’s in love. Well, it’s more than that, obviously, but that’s what finally gets her to realize it with certainty. So what if it’s lame? She knows, and she’s fucked.

Just then, Shitty appears, and the girls giggle. One says, “Oh it’s him!”

“Oh, were you lovely ladies waiting for me?” he asks with a smile and a wink.

“Yes, after so wisely determining that we were, in fact, from Samwell Hockey, they wanted to know if the ‘really hot guy with the mustache’ was fated, and if he was not, would he be interested in going to a party tonight, since the blonde one has a _‘feeeeeeling’_ she is fated with him,” Bitty fills in, his voice sickeningly sweet, but sarcastic in a way the girls miss. 

“Oh.” Shitty looks at Lardo, and sees the pain in her eyes. He is silent for a long moment, just staring at her, and watching her eyes fill with tears. He breaks his gaze, and turns to the girls. “Thanks so much for the interest and the invite, but I am fated.”

The girls sigh, mumble goodbye, and leave.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Lardo whispers as the others turn away.

“Yes, I did,” Shitty says quietly. “I couldn’t say yes to them when it so obviously was causing you pain.”

“I need to talk to you. Come to my room later?”

Shitty nods in response, and they all pile on to the bus.

 

After Lardo hands out the room keys in the hotel lobby and lets everyone know the bus is leaving at 9:00 am sharp, she heads up to her room. 

About twenty minutes later, she hears a knock on her door. She takes a deep breath, and opens it to Shitty. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes, please.” She opens the door wide to let him in, and he takes a seat at the desk, in the fake leather chair, the only other place to sit besides the bed. She sighs and sits cross-legged on the bed. Before she can form any words, he starts talking.

“Are you finally going to tell me what I did?”

“What you did?”

“Yes, why you are mad at me, and what caused you to not talk to me for a week.” Shitty sounds mad, maybe defensive. She supposes she deserves it. She essentially walked away from him with no explanation.

“Oh no, Shits. You didn’t do anything. I’m sorry that’s what you think. I suppose I thought Jack or Bitty would have told you what was going on.”

“What do they have to do with it?”

Lardo sighs and rubs her temples. She appreciates that they kept her secret, but it would make this so much easier if they hadn’t. She explains what happened on Valentine’s Day – how she was looking for him, how she found out he was on a date, how crushed she was, that she found out he was in love with her, and how she started realizing she had feelings for him. She shares Bitty’s story about his grandparents, and how touched she was by it. She recounts their advice about really thinking things over before making promises, and finishes with her feelings when Blondie wanted to invite him to a party because she felt they may be fated.

Shitty sits quietly throughout, just taking it all in, and listening intently. The only sign that he’s feeling anything are his occasional grins, and his eyes tearing when Lardo’s do.

When he thinks she’s finished, he asks, “Are you done? I don’t want to interrupt.”

She laughs. “Yes, I’m done.”

“And now? How do you feel now? You know I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you, Larissa Duan. I don’t care if you call it fated, or luck, or a miracle. Personally, I think you’re all three. I think meeting you is all three. You’re entitled to your opinion, and I couldn’t give a fuck what you call it, but what are your feelings for me?”

She moves off the bed, and goes to sit on his lap. She takes his face in her small hands, and looks directly into his warm green eyes. “Shitty Knight, I love you. Yes, you are my best friend, and I hope you always are, but it’s more than that now.” His arms, which had been gripping the chair, move up to wrap around her. “I’m in love with you, so much in love with you.”

She leans into him and kisses him for the first time. She isn’t hearing angels sing, or seeing fireworks behind her eyes, but she feels love soaring through her like she hasn’t ever felt before. Her soulmark is tingling, and she feels like she can’t get close enough to him.

Shitty pulls away after a moment. “Wait. What about fate? What about soulmates?”

She leans in closer, putting her head on his shoulder, and feeling his love, as if it’s seeping into her through her skin. “I believe we are fated. I think we were fated to meet, as people who could be a great match and find great love. I am choosing to be in a relationship with you, and if you also choose to, I am choosing to commit to be your partner, and put the effort into making sure we stay best friends and lovers for a really long time.”

He stands; gathering her in his arms, and carries her to the bed. He places her down lovingly, and lays over her. “I’ve always wanted you, since before I even knew you. Once I met you, I wanted you more. I choose you. I’m choosing to commit to be your partner, your best friend and lover,” he says with a moan, both at the word ‘lover, and because her hands are sneaking around his back and under his shirt. “I promise I will always work to make sure we stay that way for a really long time, and I’ll be the happiest man ever. And if you ever want it, I’ll be your husband.” 

“Oh my God, Shits. One thing at a time. Let’s focus on tonight, huh?” Lardo laughs, though the thought doesn’t terrify her like she would have imagined it may.

“Yes, we have to focus on this lover part first, don’t we?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, just before he kisses her. She just laughs and kisses him back.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Lardo/Shitty. Feedback is appreciated! <3


End file.
